


Conversation

by happysarcasm



Series: andi’s mcyt fics [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Crying, Dissociation, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, No Romance, Panic Attacks, me: projects onto my fav content creators like a bitch, rated for language, this is like an irl minecraft au, tommy dissociates: the fic, tubbo is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27058777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happysarcasm/pseuds/happysarcasm
Summary: After the events of the Manberg Festival, Tommy and Tubbo spend some time around the jukebox. Ft. Tommy’s unresolved emotional issues
Relationships: Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Niki | Nihachu & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: andi’s mcyt fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905163
Comments: 6
Kudos: 210





	Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> hello! think of this as an apology for never updating O.K 😔 anyway they’re friends

The music disc drowned out the wind that made the leaves and flowers rustle. Darkness was creeping from behind the trio, who were taking in the day’s events and wondering about the future of their home.

Tubbo had been outed as a traitor and promptly executed, Techno betrayed them, Niki officially ran away to Pogtopia, Wilbur went even more batshit, and they didn’t even have a choice in blowing up Manberg because the button was fucking gone. It had been a long few hours for all of them.

Blocks faded out and the upbeat music was gone, only leaving the three of them in silence for another minute before Niki spoke up.

“I’m going to head inside. I’m..really tired.” She sure sounded like it. It felt like she would collapse at any given moment. “You two should come in soon, mobs are gonna start spawning if you stay out here for too long. Be safe.” She turned and started walking back towards the carved out hole that lead to the ravine.

Both of them said their goodnights to Niki, but didn’t move from their spots on either side of the jukebox. Tommy turned back to face in front of him at the blank night sky. 

He could tell that Tubbo wanted to say something, but waited for him to spit it out. Tommy wasn’t really in the mood to engage conversation right now. So, he kept staring ahead of him. 

The only way Tommy could tell that he was still awake were his own hands playing with the sleeve of the jacket around his waist. Adrenaline had faded a long while ago, so the feeling of running for his life and beating the shit out of someone you once called an ally had worn off and had been replaced with...something else.

A feeling of...guilt? Regret, maybe? Anxiety? It was probably a mix of the two and more. Guilt that he hadn’t been able to stop Tubbo from dying. Anxiety for what would be the future of their home. Stupidity and regret that he hadn’t seen Techno’s betrayal coming sooner. Of course he wasn’t on their side, he said himself that he only wants chaos.

These thoughts were drowned out by the overwhelming feeling of nothingness. The dark sky made it easy to drown everything else out. If he noticed his eyes became unfocused, he didn’t bother to correct them. The hand at the jacket sleeve slowly stopped and he became almost completely still, save for the occasional tapping of his foot. 

Nothing felt real after Tubbo’s death back at Manberg. Sure it was temporary, it always was, but it felt different. Techno had murdered him in front of everybody. The so called anarchist had bent to the will of the government, of a nation he wasn’t even a part of, all because of peer pressure. It just didn’t make sense. He was supposed to be on their side.

The pit, the button, Wilbur’s further descent into insanity, Niki? It just didn’t feel right. Didn’t feel like anything that occurred had actually..happened. 

He was somewhat pulled out of the state he was in by Tubbo clearing his throat and trying to get his attention. Tommy shifted his gaze to his right, looking at Tubbo and urging him to continue. 

Tubbo looked at the jukebox and then back at Tommy before asking, “Uhm, Tommy, are you ok? You-you just seem, er, a bit lost in thought?” He stumbled over his words while trying to think of a way to phrase them.

Tommy opened his mouth to say something in reply, but he couldn’t even find his own words. It took him a minute of switching from looking at Tubbo, the ground, the flowers, everywhere, before finally answering his question.

“..I don’t know.” Was all he said in reply. 

There was silence again as Tubbo stared at him, and Tommy avoided his gaze by playing with the jacket sleeve once again. His right hand was on the jukebox, and he seemed awfully interested with the little scars and marks from countless fights that littered it.

“Do you want to go inside?” Came a soft response. Tommy looked back up at his friend, who looked concerned to say the least.

Tommy just shook his head. He wasn’t in the mood for conversation.

His friend nodded and walked over to his side of the jukebox, now standing to his left. Tommy looked at him, sighed, and walked over to sit in front of the box. He patted a spot on the grass for Tubbo to sit down as well.

Both of them sat in silence again, Tommy being uncharacteristically quiet. Right now, his best friend simply sitting beside him, being ok, was the only thing grounding him to reality. 

Tubbo again cleared his throat and asked him another question. “Do you wanna talk?” The look Tommy gave him was enough to tell him to “please elaborate because I don’t know what the hell you mean”. “Like..about anything? We don’t have to have a full conversation. You don’t even need to say anything related to..uh, today.” He laughed near the end of his statement, but it was more awkward than amused.

The taller boy mulled over his question. There were so many things he wanted to say right then. How he was sorry for letting all this shit happen. He was sorry Tubbo got caught, and how he shouldn't have been so careless. How he never wanted any of this to happen. How he was sorry that he couldn’t get a hold on Wilbur, or Manberg, or anything. How was he supposed to say that Tubbo was the best thing to come out of this fucking mess?

As he tried to gather his incoherent thoughts, the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “I’m. Sorry. I really didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I-“ his words came out strangled and rushed. “I just wanted you to be ok.”

Tommy pulled his knees to his chest and stared at a singular spot in the grass. He didn’t hear a response from Tubbo if he gave one. His previous state of detachment and partial numbness was gone, being replaced with overwhelming feelings of anguish, guilt, and rage.  
Unshed tears began filling his eyes; all the built up emotion threatening to spill over, in front a person no less, one of the only people who he actually gave a fuck about.

It was quickly getting harder to breathe, his chest felt like it was being constricted to the point of caving in on itself. The scratchiness of his throat, his clouded thoughts and shaking hands were not exactly a good combination either. He shut his eyes tight and just wanted to vanish, have this happen anywhere else but here.

Tommy almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whipped his head around and scooted a few inches back.

Tubbo immediately took his hand off Tommy's shoulder and muttered a quick apology before continuing.

“Tom—Tommy, hey, hey it’s alright. C’mon, breathe.” It was obvious Tubbo wasn’t skilled with this kind of thing, but he was definitely trying. “Uh, just, breathe with me, it’s alright.” He nervously laughed while speaking.

He made sure Tommy was looking at him before he took a deep breath. Tommy followed. He repeated when Tubbo held and exhaled for four seconds respectively, for however many minutes. Tommy wasn’t counting.

After the breathing exercise, Tubbo started talking to fill the silence. Tommy wasn’t paying attention to the exact words, he was occupied with calming himself down enough to form coherent sentences again.

It felt like forever had passed when he finally calmed down enough to think somewhat clearly, and Tubbo was near the end of whatever rant he went on. He smiled softly at the taller, and he smiled back.

Tommy put his arm around Tubbo’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “Thank you, Big T.”

“..You’re welcome, Tommy.” Tubbo rested his head on Tommy’s shoulder.

They paid no mind to monsters that spawned around the torches placed by the jukebox. Even if they only had each other, they knew they’d be alright, staring into the blank night sky.


End file.
